90’s kids, rejoice! LA rapper King Size has a gluttonous story to tell with his latest single, “Once Upon a Time in Taco Bell.” This guilty-pleasure, lowkey banger is dripping in nostalgia, paying homage to golden age-era West Coast hip hop, and is more captivating than it probably should be.
You know, in music there’s a very fine line between a song being ‘so bad it’s good’ and just being plain bad. After listening to “Once Upon a Time in Taco Bell” you could easily make arguments for both. But some artists are just so unique and unabashedly themselves that you have to respect them. And if you’re really being honest with yourself you’ll just have to bite your tongue, swallow your pride, and admit: this song is just plain good. It has no business being this good. In fact, if the subject matter was literally anything other than a guy robbing a Taco Bell at gunpoint to force the workers to make him two discontinued yet beloved menu items, King Size might have a legit hit on his hands. But that’s not why The King got into this game. He’s an entertainer and a shockingly great raconteur, evidenced by his engrossing Cypress Hill-esque rhythmic delivery and captivating imagery tantamount to legendary children’s storyteller, Slick Rick. He masterfully lays this story out so clearly from beginning to end, snack-packed full of action, and I guarantee that by the last verse you will be on the edge of your seat, holding your breath. You’ll also be starving.
I hate that I love this song so much. King Size dresses his idiosyncratic lyrics with a playful and riveting flow and combines that with a little dark and dangerous G-funk to concoct a beautifully tragic tale of passion, desperation, and desire. No one has had a smash-hit this brilliantly useless since Weird Al, and for his efforts we want to salute King Size’s commitment to entertaining the people.
And damn it, Taco Bell needs to bring back the Meximelt and the Mexican Pizza.
Written by Tim Clark
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